Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
