Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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