I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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