And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize