super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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