god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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