Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
