Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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