I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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