I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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