She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
