Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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