You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
