bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
