I hate your face
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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