is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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