So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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