Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
