mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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