Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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