I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
