I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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