end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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