thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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