Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
false alarm. still invincible.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
