i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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