he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
