Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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