My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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