Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
