we have pet lesbian snakes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
