Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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