I am in a vortex of obligation.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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