The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
