I don't remember. Are we still dating?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
