508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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