He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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