we're chasing vodka with high fives
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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