Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize