The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize