Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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