just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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