I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
