Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
