i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
