I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
