some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
