i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
