they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You are the jesus of drinking
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
