I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize