I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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