drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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