I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
