so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
