I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
