YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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