It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize